Want to be happier? Forgive someone. (tips from my high school religion teacher.)

Are you struggling with forgiving someone?  Are you holding a grudge?  Is there hurt in your life that you just can’t seem to let go?

I have to imagine that we all have struggled with forgiveness and healing at some point in our lives, or are still struggling.  This MUST be something that we all share, right?

Last night I went to a friend’s church and attended a program on healing and forgiveness.  The speaker was someone I have known for years (he taught me high school religion) and I have always looked forward to hearing him speak.  His messages have consistently been practical, relatable, relevant to daily life and always humorous.

I was inspired by the 50 women in the audience who shared their hurts and struggles with forgiveness.  We all wanted to know how to REALLY forgive, when you know that you have forgiven, what if the person who hurt you really doesn’t deserve to be forgiven?

There were a few points that really stuck out because I think they relate to all of us at one point or another, especially those who have ever relied on their faith in times of hurt.  Here are my favorites:

1. Women tend to beat ourselves up because it hurts less if we do it ourselves before anyone else can.
2.  The inability to forgive can kill you.  (think stress and emotional turmoil)
3. Only when we open our hands to receive (help and grace), and say “I can not do this,” is when true healing really begins.
4. The best tool we have for forgiveness is our faith.
5. Pray for the person who hurt you… not because it will help them, but because it changes OUR disposition towards them.
6. Resentment is spiritual cancer.
7. It is okay to be angry, not okay to hold a grudge.
8. You know that you have forgiven a person, when you walk into a room and do not know where they are.
9. We MUST forgive because it frees us up to express our beauty  (and best self) and the world needs our beauty, intelligence, love and forgiveness.

I will always be grateful to Fr. Paul for his message last night.  I am no expert in forgiveness, but wanted to share a few ideas that help me!  I realize we all have our own journey and hurts to go along.

However…remember, women tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.  We feel our own pain, our friends’ pain and our children’s pain.   If we examine and seek forgiveness and healing as a process, only then can we focus on being our best self with more, true and lasting peace in our hearts.

And what woman shouldn’t have more peace in her life?

What hurt are you hanging on to, that you really need to let go?