Work longer hours? A girl’s night out? Vacation without kids? Take my dream job, though I will be traveling more? Go to work when my kid is under the weather?
The list of questions is endless when it comes to the guilt we experience when weighing decisions. This guilt creeps in during important decisions and less important decisions. Just this past weekend, my husband and I were talking about traveling…just the two of us. I confided in him, for the first time, that since I became a mom, a fear I never had before was really weighing me down when it came to traveling without our kids. My newly found fear of flying…or really, the fear of crashing to my death and leaving my children motherless, has been born and continues to grow.
So, when my friends talk about going to visit a college friend for a girl’s weekend, I think, immediately, what if I die, and leave my kids motherless because I wanted to go on a girl’s trip? That does not sound good. BUT, I recently discovered a way to make these types of decisions in a clear cut, guilt free manner.
Matthew Kelly is a speaker, author and consultant who has had many books ranked on the New York Times Best Seller list. One of his main elements of his books and programs is becoming the best version of yourself. I remember years ago, before I became a Mom, when approaching any decision, I would ask “Will this help me to be the best version of myself?” and if the answer was yes, I would move forward. Of course, if the answer was no, I would opt out. After these decisions were made with this process, I never looked back. I was always at peace with the decision made.
Now, as a Mom, I just started to ask myself this important question, again. And when utilized to determine when/if I should travel by plane, I ask myself….
Will going out of town with some of my best friends, help me to be the best version of myself? The answer…yes! Not only are my friends good for my soul, they inspire me. They bring out the best in me. Their friendship is one of my most cherished blessings. So leaving my kids for 2.5 days, traveling by plane, to feed this desire to be the best version of myself, through the help of these important friendships, is worth it to me. I am also teaching my children, that friendships and making some sacrifices for people who are valued in your life, is very important.
Months ago, when contemplating if I should go to the National Speakers Association Convention, I thought to myself, will going to this event, help me to be the best version of myself? For me, the answer took a millisecond. Yes! It will help me in many ways and I knew in my gut, that I had to go. This also teaches my children that goals,( professional development) and working at something you are passionate about, is worth a few sacrifices, as well.
If this sounds like something you may be willing to try, next time you are contemplating a decision, ask yourself, as Matthew Kelly sets forth…. Is this something going to help you become the best version of yourself? Then say goodbye to the guilt of decision making.