1. Ask yourself if you are doing the best you can.
Really…don’t use comparisons about what next-door-neighbor-Sally is doing. Just look within…are you doing your best? If so, move on. You are doing what you can with the information/time/energy you have…what more can a person ask for? If not, explore what would have to happen for you to say that you do feel like you are doing your best? What does “doing your best” look like in your life? What does it feel like? Identify these things and work towards it. Cut yourself some slack…it’s a process, it takes some time. Ask yourself today, am I doing the best I can? Approach it day by day.
2. Approach Mommy Time proactively!
Give yourself a time out! I know…you are thinking “more time away?”…but you have to spend money to make money, right? Any valuable investment requires some give and take. Isn’t your health (be it, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual health) worth it? You can not expect to operate at maximum capacity 24/7. Brace yourselves….sometimes, our families actually benefit from our absence. (I know, I know..it’s radical.) Motherhood is TRYING! It’s wonderful and the greatest blessing of all time! But it is stressful and frustrating and exhausting! Don’t wait until you are totally spent to threaten a morning out by yourself. Don’t wait until your temper gets the best of you. Don’t wait until sheer exhaustion to reserve a little time for yourself.
Take out this month’s calendar. Look at the next 30 days. I don’t care if you pick a one hour time period or an entire day. Figure out, proactively, what you really would like to do. Read a book? See an old friend? Watch a movie? Pray? Journal? Start a blog? What can you do, during that time that will feed you? This is NOT a time to get things off your to do list. This is a time to feed your soul, where you will feel fuller, happier, and fulfilled. Once you have spent some time being ‘fed’…you will return to your duties, fresher, more relaxed and more appreciative. You MUST designate this time proactively, though!
3. Take inventory of your team members!
I don’t care if we “can” do this alone…who would want to? It is more fun when we have friends who will listen, provide support and help us laugh at ourselves. I have a friend who will abruptly stop in mid sentence and ask “Are you okay” if I just don’t seem like myself. What is funny is I am a very expressive person and most people know right away if something is wrong…because I have no problem communicating it. However, this particular friend’s radar is like x-ray vision. She is right on! Funny, tonight she asked me that question and I really felt like I was just fine…but she had me thinking long and hard because her sense is that good! Do you have someone who will hold you accountable for talking about the things that are not going well? Do you have a ‘cheerleader’ when things are going well? Having a team of supportive friends builds us up. Sitting in our puddles for too long, tears us down. Taking inventory of our team members feeds us. Sometimes they know when we need to be fed, better than we do! Do you know who is on your team?