Time outs worked for my daughter. Then comes along, my son, two years later. Not only did they not work…he enjoyed time outs! He laughed, smiled and giggled through the time outs! I kept fighting it, thinking, “it was effective with his sister, it’s just going to be a matter of time!” WRONGO Sista’!
It took me a while, but I smartened up. He now has to stand with his nose pressed into a corner, for 2 minutes. Now THAT works…for now.
I found out that my husband and I are expecting our 3rd child this spring. We were excited and feeling so incredibly blessed….for two weeks. Then a rash began to spread like wildfire through my body and it really distracted me from the feelings of euphoric love of my children. (Although obviously we still feel very blessed and are excited to welcome baby #3!)
I kept fighting the presences of this rash…why wouldn’t I, right? This CAN NOT be happening, this is my third pregnancy, I am healthy …this shouldn’t be happening! I endured the CONSTANT itching ALL over my body for 2 weeks before I brought myself to the dermatologist, who gave me anti itch steroid cream (please don’t comment on the risks of steroids during pregnancy…you DO NOT understand how badly I was itching!), for a week, I kept thinking that any day now, the cream would work. Wrongo again!
Next dermatologist, another cream. Nada…one more week goes by. FOUR weeks of CONSTANT itching, not sleeping through the night. I am talking about waking up with blood specs on my sheets from the itching I was doing while half asleep, I am talking about sleeping with ice packs on my flesh (without a cloth napkin barrier!). I was in disbelief and angry that I had to endure this severe itching with no answers (relief) in sight!
FINALLY, I start doing a little research after I surrendered to the fact, that all the things I tried were just NOT working! I wish I could say the rash is gone…it’s only been 6 weeks (!) …I do believe it is on its way out of my body. At this point, the docs have ruled out anything serious. All roads point to an allergy of my pre natal vitamin…so we will see! However, I am experiencing some relief now and I think that this is because I was able to admit when things were just not working. I was able to get over the fact that though I have always been in good health….something was severely wrong that needed to be addressed!
Why are we so hesitant to admit when something we are doing, is not working? Maybe it is because that would mean, we’d have to admit defeat? Stupidity? Weakness? So instead of really taking a hard look in the mirror at ourselves, we just keep doing something that is not working. Talk about insanity! Talk about stress! Talk about carrying around a heavy weight on your shoulders!
We are really doing ourselves a disservice by neglecting to take the time necessary to review what is and what is not working in our lives. Then and only then, can we move on, without guilt, stress or the weight on our shoulders and the constant whispers in our minds about what we are going to do about the situation.
Is your approach to the following situations working for you?
-your career/or lack there of
-your relationship with your partner
-disciplining of your children?
Maybe some of these topics relate to you and maybe none of them do….either way, can you have the courage and strength to get real, and ask yourself…
“What am I still doing, that deep down inside, I know, is no longer working?”