Guilt Free Mommy Tip #8- A “No Yell“ Day?
It’s not anything I am proud of, yet, we can not fix what we do not acknowledge, and after all, I am Sicilian, so here goes…
I am yeller. I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old at home. I yell when I get really frustrated.
And lately, I have been doing more of it than I would wish upon anyone. Finally, last Friday, (the end of a challenging week) I had it….and began yelling at my daughter who was charging at her little brother. She heard me, stopped in her tracks, sobbing immediately. Somewhere in my fury, I had forgotten that I just asked her to hug him to apologize for hitting him. She was trying to give him a hug. To say I felt horrible, is a great understatement. I hugged her tight, and calmly told her that I made a bad mistake and that I was very sorry.
I secretly wanted to cry. But I figured if I could use this experience to learn from….we would all be better off. So that very next day, first thing in the morning, I announced to my daughter that we are going to have a “No Yell Day”……….no one could yell that day. She thought it was a great idea! Of course things came up during the day that would normally prompt me to exert strong vocal chord force, however, I knew I had to show my daughter that my word meant something. I HAD to show her by my actions that I meant what I said…no yelling. So as I felt my frustration levels rise, I stopped, and calmly lowered my voice and said “Today is a no yell day, but I am frustrated that you are not listening to me.” ( and usually this is NOT my style)…surprisingly she would immediately listen (probably because she was not used to me using a calm voice in these moments) and we would both move on.
Maybe you are not a yeller, but I am sure there is something, done daily/weekly or semi regularly that we are not very proud of… maybe you never take time for yourself, have a “Mommy Time” day where you get 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to do whatever you want. Have a “No Laundry Day” (we laugh but we know this may be nearly impossible for some of us), a “Mommy Play Day” where you take one hour to play (interrupted time) with your kids, a “No Email” day…only you know what is realistic in your daily life and what is going to help you and make you feel a bit better! Whatever type of day you have, its one day that proves to us that we are fully capable to change behavior for the benefit of our sanity…and therefore everyone around us! (I am now on day #5 of my “No Yell Day!).