A few years ago when my husband was in sales, he earned a free trip to Las Vegas for a week. …with a guest. When he won the trip, I was in my last stages of pregnancy with our first child and was so happy that we had this trip to look forward to! Both Matt and I figured that we would be the only ones in the world, to head to Vegas to catch up on sleep…knowing that our daughter would be 3 months old at the time. Nonetheless, we were excited to go!
Then, our daughter was born and everything changed. Could the Grandparents provide everything our baby needed for 7 whole days? Did they know the special way to hold her to make her happy? What if our plane went down? What if she adjusted terribly to the bottle? What if she got sick? This was one of my first major experiences with Mommy Guilt. I mean, really…who leaves their 3 month old, only child, to party in Vegas for a week?
In talking things through with my trusted friends and family members, I “got permission” to no only go to Vegas, but to truly feel good about my decision and enjoy the time with my husband. Many comments revolved around investing this time into our marriage, supporting Matt’s achievements and taking a step back to celebrate our new stage of life, together. Although I had these tiny voices saying the same thing within myself, once people I trusted said the same things, I was confident that we were heading to Vegas…guilt free!
Why is it that we look to others to grant us permission to do something, guilt free? As if our own voice is not enough! I am sure part of this is because we rely on support of others and when we listen to someone we trust, we just feel better! Many times it just helps our confidence in our decision. But really, do we run to someone else to seek approval of our potential “guilty” decisions?
Take inventory this week of whose permission you seek (on purpose or not) to feel better about your decisions. Pay special attention to the times when you are able to make a decision, guilt free, on your own. What type of decisions do you need permission from others to move on, guilt free?
(Think…..Spend a day on yourself? Buy that new dress? Travel without kids? Take the job you would love but has your working longer hours? Go out with your friends?)
