It’s been one of those weeks! To try and capture the exact feelings of frustration, stress, and anxiety that I experienced this week, in a nicely worded paragraph will NOT do my week justice. We all have those weeks and normally, I can handle the ebb and flow of such stress. However, this week was different.
Looking back I think it was a combination of trying to get the workload of 3 jobs done while my kids are home with me. Yes, I know…a ridiculous thought! However, I really did not have the choice this week. And we work with what we have, right? Then, come to find out my income is probably decreasing substantially…while my kids are coming off the stomach flu, the terrible two’s hit us this week and the sassing coming out of my daughter’s mouth has reach new heights this week. Even her teacher had to mention it to me…how humiliating! Then the uncertainty of the future…and future bills, goals, add in having to assemble birthday presents, baking, cooking, and preparing for a weekend away …all this and of course my husband has school this weekend and worked long hours all week. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was going insane! Exploding! Feeling like the Incredible Hulk, only bursting out of my shell of a body to just let some steam off!
I was ready to explode on a moment’s notice…..multiple times this week. In fact, and I am not proud of this, I attempted 2 different “No Yell Days” (see Tip #8) and my kids had to remind me that I broke the “No Yell Day” rules, and started yelling. Damn it! In fact, the term “going postal” crossed my mind many times this week….I felt like I was going down for the count. Help me someone please! However, what is there to help with…. my kids are mine…. My job is in my own hands….my kid’s sassing is my problem…and no one can control the stomach flu …SO…..I plodded along, snapping at a moments’ notice at anyone who got in my way. Don’t I sound like a nice Mom at this point? Believe me, this is nothing I am proud of, and I knew something had to be done.
Finally, as I drifted off to sleep Wednesday night, I thought, “there is nothing I can do about this stuff overnight. Focus on what is really important tomorrow and say ‘screw it’ to everything else.” Of course, my first inclination is to start looking at my work to do list and telling myself that there is NO way I can just postpone those things for another day. But I looked at how my kids were reflecting my stress level and realized I had to do something. They were the most important thing at that moment and I needed to adjust my attitude. I was going insane and was on the road to disaster if I could not turn it around!
Yesterday, I took very limited number of phone calls. I decided NOT to go into my home office to look at my work to do list. (Do you know how hard it is to avoid a room in your own home?) I was committed to doing nothing but whatever my kids wanted to do. For the first time in a long while, I was actually present with them during the day! (What a concept, eh?) We played outside, we built blocks, we made our lunches, we ate together, we built sand castles with snow (don’t ask!) and we just had fun. I saw an immediate change in my kids’ attitudes. Their behavior improved and therefore my stress level decreased.
Had I not been to the point of insanity….I never would have asked myself what was truly important. I never would have set aside an entire day to play with my kids. I did have pangs of guilt as the week started out on such bad footings, but I felt powerless to the stress I was experiencing. Hours became days and I could not believe that I was truly erupting with anger and stress….what a “bad mom” I was! I mean, I write a Mom blog, for God’s sake, shouldn’t I know better?
However, I learned something very valuable this week from almost going insane! When times get bad and I mean BADDDDD….what can you learn to better yourself? What is the lesson that you can take from this miserable experience? I would not wish reliving this week on my worst enemy, yet, I am thankful and better off because of the experience.
Next time you are having a week or day, like mine this week, don’t feel guilty, instead, ask yourself…what lesson am I supposed to be learning from this, to make me better?
Remember, insanity does not always have to come with such negative outcomes! How can you make it work for you?