Has anyone ever mentioned to you that you should set some boundaries? If so, have you noticed that it is often spoken as a reaction to something? As if someone is already taking advantage of you? Taking you for granted? Or someone gets the sense that you are just tired of being pulled in too many directions? Sometimes you may hear this term at work, or in regards to certain family members, friends, or possibly you are saying this to yourself.
Why not be proactive to be at peace with the boundaries you set?
I was reaching a point in my life where I had some time and energy to devote to a good cause. I surveyed what I thought was worthwhile causes, tried to match them up with my experience/skill set to figure out where I could volunteer my time. I decided that I would pick ONE organization for which I would volunteer. I just figured that as time went on, opportunities would present themselves and then I would be in over my head if I did not know when to say ‘no’. I knew that if I wanted to really become involved in a cause, I couldn’t dilute my commitment to one organization by spreading myself too thin.
I chose to commit to a leadership position in my church’s Moms group and I was grateful that I had made this proactive decision when I was approached by a family friend who asked me to help a non profit with their communication plan. (Which I would have LOVED to do!). However, because I had set my peaceful boundaries, I knew immediately what my answer was going to be. I had no guilt as I had had the time to think this decision through. I also was able to explain, on the spot, why I had to decline though I was honored to have been asked. I did not squirm. I felt confident about this decision.
Where in your life might you be able to set peaceful boundaries? Are you always the go to woman for a school function? (and feel badly about it?) Maybe a family member continually asks you for favors that you do not appreciate or think is fair? Are your needs consistently the last ones to be considered in your family?
Think of ONE area in your life where you might want to set some peaceful boundaries. Then, be confident about your decision and leave it alone.