Moms are people too! I think once we become Moms, our person hood gets forgotten. Maybe we do it to ourselves, or maybe it stems from some historical foundation , but nevertheless it seems that once you know that a woman is a Mom, you know all the right questions….and it’s all about her kids….no? I know, I do it (unintentionally of course)! I do realize that our lives DO revolve around our kids/family and that people are just trying to take an interest in our life. However, what else is there, inside of us Moms?
So what if we started to focus on us as a person, outside of kids/spouse/home/work situation? Peel back all the layers of what your picture of a “Mom” should look like until you have a woman, at a certain age and stage of life, with real desires, fears, inadequacies and dreams. This scares some of us, because we have defined our self for so long in relation to our kids and spouse that we may not know WHAT we really desire or fear. Who were you before kids? Pre Marriage? Did you like who you were?
This week, I want you to create a list (even if it’s in your head) and describe what your personhood (not your body!) looked like before marriage and kids. Concentrate on the positive attributes that have been off the radar for a while. I started doing this last year and I was able to begin to identify with a fun loving enthusiastic girl that I had not seen in a long time. This process then got me thinking about how I can incorporate these seemingly dormant attributes into my daily life as a Mom, so I don’t loose myself in motherhood’s responsibilities. Here is my partial “Cool Before Kids” list……Fun, energetic, VERY goal oriented, fun loving, hopeful, spontaneous, excited about life, positive.
When I was done with my list, I felt heart pangs….I started thinking about how I used to be ‘cool’ before I had kids! I thought, “How can my kids get to know my personhood through these attributes?” I started thinking that I can still be fun, energetic, VERY goal oriented, (etc.) in my daily life and keep that girl I was before marriage and kids, and incorporate her into my daily life. This activity helped me to peel back the layers of Mom hood so I could take a good hard look at my person hood outside of my kids and husband.
Create your “Cool Before Kids List” today and see what it does for you!