I was directing my child to her timeout bench when she shouted “Well… you’re not pretty!”
Trying not to burst with laughter (which would only encourage this bad behavior) I had to sit her down and have a quick chat about what “pretty” actually means and about her intention to hurt my feelings.
In the meantime, this “You’re not pretty” experience got me thinking….we are susceptible to negative comments on a regular basis! Maybe it’s not the “you’re not pretty” but whether it’s our own inner voices, a family member, friend, colleague, or perfect stranger… negative and uncomfortable thoughts take a lot of time and energy away from us! (And let’s be honest, us Moms don’t have reserves of either resource!) Luckily for me, my daughter’s intention was extremely obvious since she was heading into a timeout. I was not offended. However, as adults, we are susceptible to negative situations/ comments on a regular basis that really drain our energy and time! How can we overcome these “You’re Not Pretty” situations to free us from any guilt or negative feelings?
I put this to the test just last week. I had a conversation with someone that did not go very well…in fact, it was almost offensive. I was not sure if he was in a bad mood, mad at me or possibly it was just a figment of my imagination. Our time was limited so I began thinking about the negative feel of this interaction, after the fact. It really bothered me. I thought…do I owe him an apology for something or just let it blow over? Did I do something wrong? I was distracted all day and even lost sleep over it! I was trying to come to peace about this uncomfortable interaction.
So I slept on it, and in the morning, spent a few minutes in quiet reflection focusing just on this situation. After dissecting the interaction, I finally came to peace with the fact that I felt that I did nothing wrong and did not feel any further correspondence was necessary. (And I DO offer apologies when they are necessary- just for the record!)
The bottom line is, after this negative, almost offensive situation, I came to a resolution where I felt peace. After hours of worrying about it, after my reflection, I have not thought about it since. No guilt, no more weight on my shoulders…done!
What negative comments, insults or situations are bothering you so much, that it is actually sucking up your time and energy? Distracting you from what is really important?
What can you do to seek peace amidst a “Well…You’re Not Pretty” situation?