My hairstylist, Carrie, has become more of a friend to me over the years as we sit and compare notes on work, family and motherhood every 6 weeks. During my recent visit this week, we started talking about guilt in motherhood. Then we started brainstorming about one idea…. Is there a link between self esteem and guilt? We did not find the answer BUT what we discovered is that it seems that woman do not like to talk about any shortcomings or ugly truths, that we feel we may have.
I remembered when I was first out of college, single and making some money, my girlfriends and I rented an apartment. What a fun time! Not managing my money well, at the time, I did manage to buy new clothes and travel. Yes, I always seemed to have credit card debt, which I knew I was not supposed to have. At the time, I always felt better when I could talk to my roommates and realized they too have a bit of debt and that we would get through a money management lesson, together.
I wonder why we, now Moms, do not share the ugly details more often. Obviously, no one ever wants to share anything ugly. I get that. But…what is that secrecy costing us? When you are carrying a burden, don’t you feel better when you share it? When a friend confides in your that s/he was going through some really rough times but did not tell you….don’t you say something like, “You should have told me! I would have helped you!” ..?
Well, fellow Moms…let’s try to not take ourselves too seriously. I remember, knowing that securing my 6 month old and 2.5 yr old (at the time), in their booster seats, in front of the TV, so I could get dinner on the table was not a move I was proud of, yet I knew I had to do it to get through the night. Because I was able to find the humor in it, I took a picture and sent it to my family. Two kids, unable to move, stuck in front of the TV….with the caption “Mother of the Year”. And we all laughed about it.
What perceived “ugly truth” of yours that is weighing on you, can you share with someone else this week?