There has been quite an internal struggle in my brain these past six months. I truly enjoy working with women who realize that there is more to life that the stress that comes with trying to complete their daily to do list (although I do realize how glorious that feels)! After blogging (on and off) for a few years now, I realize many of us have a lot in common, through our struggles, challenges and weaknesses. However, since it is an ugly topic at times, we do not talk so much about them! So here I am, again, exposing a weakness, that I wonder if we all experience at some point in our lives.
You see, I have been beating myself up for months, about NOT growing my business this past year. I love to present speaking programs and write about the blessings and challenges of motherhood in todays’ world. However, life happened this past year. No, nothing major…just numerous ordinary days that I have been blessed with; work things, family things, kids things, household things, bill things, routine doctor appointment things, grocery store trip things, birthday parties things, T-ball games things, potty training things, vacation things and the list -goes- on-type-of-things.
It has only been a few short weeks, that I realize, I have been feeling guilty about NOT moving my business forward over these past six months. I did not realize however, that I invited this guilt into my daily life. Every day that I did not seek out a new client, write a blog posting, or start my book, I told myself that I was lazy, unmotivated and I was not going to have a successful business because I just was not good enough.
Not good enough?
Have you ever felt ‘not good enough’? This feeling was overwhelming to me, to the point of motivational paralysis. I just lost all motivation.
I stopped everything having to do with my business. I stopped emails from a beloved, super intelligent and extremely giving mentor, I stopped writing blog postings, I stopped thinking that a book was possible. I stopped going to my mastermind speakers group (which consists of some of my favorite people in the world!). I just stopped.
At the time, I thought that I was choosing between my kids and my business and I desired to put my children first. So I felt a wee little bit better. And I still believe a part of this was true, but at the same time, I also believe that you make time for what is important. So after a nice “little” break, I realize how important this business is to me! This break has already taught me life lessons that I am sure to speak and write about eventually!
For today, I start by forgiving myself for what I felt was a long while of ‘not good enough’ and asking for forgiveness to those (who probably are getting this as a link in a personal email) who may have felt that I just gave up. (Forgive me?)
So I wonder, what are you feeling guilty about today that you have been carrying with you for a while? Loosing those extra 20 pounds? Applying for a new position? Going back to school? Calling that counselor? Organizing your closets? Spending more time with the kiddos?
Please, decide if this is something you REALLY must do and can afford to do (time and money), and meditate on it, pray about it, talk about it* and just figure out what the answer is…do NOT carry this guilt around day in and day out, I beg you! This guilt eats away at our best self. It steals our motivation and robs others of any gifts or talents that we may have brought to their lives.
…because at the end of the day, after doubts, fears and stresses…..you know what? You ARE good enough! Now get to work! 🙂
* Believe me, if this thing that you feel guilty about won’t go away after REALLY digging into it… chances are good, you must do something!