The kids were WIRED right around bedtime and my energy was LOW. I had withstood the previous three hours of children taking their turn losing it! The crying, whining, and bickering I endured that afternoon, must have been worse than Chinese water torture, I was confident.
So after the kids and I returned from soccer practice, I quickly poured myself a glass of wine, and we all headed upstairs to get ready for bed. I knew my husband had just walked in the door from work but I had not physically laid eyes on him yet.
As I reached the hallway upstairs, I spotted him, we exchange a brief hello, a quick kiss, and we both just kept moving, trying to get done what we needed to, to get these kids in bed as quickly as possible!
I realized the kids were getting their own pajamas on and brushing teeth, happily visiting with each other. Normally my hubby and I would be in a rush to get them in bed, which probably would have entailed a couple threats of losing privileges as well as voices being raised for children who were not listening, counting to three, and maybe even chasing a three year old around the train table to get him in his room.
However, as we overheard the kids in the bathroom, I realized that the hubs and I actually might have a few minutes to talk without a child interrupting…we just had to stay out of their line of sight!
So, I took my wine, as my husband was picking up clothes from our closet floor, I walked in, asked him how his day was, and shut the door behind me. I assured him this was not an invitation to get frisky…just a simple chance to catch up about our days….UNinterrupted… as in a REAL adult conversation.
So, for the next 10 minutes, my husband and I, caught each other up on our days, I sipped my wine, standing in our closest. The kids did not bother us; they brushed their teeth, tinkered in their rooms and just waited for us to tuck them in.
This night had come after a couple weeks of a very hectic schedule. Every week, like MANY families out there, we attended to various activities that require time, effort and energy. Weekly soccer practices and games, choir practice, volunteer meetings, homework, not to mention my husband’s and my work schedules. We had been like ships passing in the night. So when I spotted an opportunity, as odd as locking ourselves into the closet just to sip my wine and chat… We took it!
We NEEDED, just a few minutes of peace. We needed to have an adult conversation, if nothing else, just so I could hear about his work projects and he could hear about my day at work and the time I spent with the kids. We instantly became less stressed and hurried after our closet conversation. We sensed it and our kids did too,that night.
Don’t let the doldrums of daily life override what is most important. If we always let the squeaky wheel get the most attention, our relationships with our spouse may never get the attention it actually needs. Kids’ needs always seem to be the loudest, don’t they?
How often do we overlook meaningful opportunities in our marriage, that just seem illogical or too silly? Or we think it just wouldn’t be worth it the effort?
Let’s think about it today….
What is one silly thing you can do today to put your marriage first?