I am sitting here, feeling some mild contractions, mild back ache, days away from my actual due date with baby #3. I am excited, grateful and at the same time, impatient, crabby, hormonal (just ask my husband!) and uncomfortable! For the last few days I hear myself saying, “I just want to get this show on the road. I want this baby OUT!”
However, as I woke up this morning, from a restful, 8 hours of sleep last night, I realized that I need a little patience. Shouldn’t I be savoring the time with only TWO kids? Shouldn’t I be grateful that I am able to sleep for 8 hours? I may never be pregnant again…don’t I want to preserve the feeling of this life growing inside me? Of course the answer to these questions is ‘yes’, but I admit have very limited patience.
Just today, in attempting to take a step back, and gain perspective, I thought to myself, ‘What if God is trying to teach me a lesson to make me a better person and all I am doing is beating my head against a brick wall, wishing for this baby to come sooner than it should?’
This is when I thought about other times in my life, when I was faced with similar experiences…like when I kept praying that the boyfriend I had at the time would just change so we could be together forever and ride off into the sunset together! Though clearly that was not who God had picked for me to spend my life with… years later, I found my husband, who brings out the best in me, is the best Dad is the world and who truly my best friend. I could not have imagined then, what I have now. Lesson learned!
Or, the time when I prayed and prayed for months that my husband would just get the motivation to hurry up and search for a new job so our heavy financial stresses would finally be alleviated and bills could be paid without anguish! Little did I know that the better answer was that our marriage had to go through those tough times and challenges so he and I could learn more about each other, our strengths, communication skills and come out stronger. We wouldn’t change a thing from that time in our lives, as painful as it was at the time!
To me, when I feel impatient and as though I am literally beating my head up against a brick wall, I take a few moments to ask, “If God was trying to teach me a lesson, to help me be a better me, what might the lesson be?” I usually find the answer. Oddly enough that is precisely when doors open and my head no longer hurts from the brick wall.
Ask yourself today, what brick wall are you hitting your head up against? Might there be a lesson that God is trying to teach you today?